• Caitlin

COMMENDED: Weather

Valentina in Year 8 shares a brilliant short story. Valentina said: The inspiration for my short story was a painting I did last year based upon the William Turner watercolour ‘The Burning Ship’. My Grandfather was also a Captain and has often told me stories of how terrifying the ocean can be and how unforgiving the weather can be during a storm. After 30 years at Sea, he still says to this day that the wind must be treated with such respect because of her unpredictability.

The Storm

As the storm clouds gathered above the ship, looming over like a ferocious animal, she was full of people having a good time and totally unaware of the danger brewing outside. The Captain slowly began to realise imminent peril and he knew how unforgiving the ocean could be and how in a second, it could swallow up its prey with total contempt. The skies became darker than the unknown, ready to release scorn upon anything that lay beneath. The hungry waves thundered over the railings, spraying the decks with foam and destroying everything in their path. Stranded in the middle of the ocean, safety seemed a million miles away. Thunder and lightning engulfed the ship and she began to rock from side to side uncontrollably. The monster above ready to inflict its fury and swallow her into a blackhole of despair. The Captain had never known a storm of this intensity before. Fearing he was losing control of his ship, he knew he had the lives of 500 passengers in his hands and had to find a way to survive the onslaught raining down upon them. But with every second, this became more and more difficult. The ship was blown off course. Drifting, the rain relentless, he knew the end was inevitable. Standing at his helm, in the middle of the ocean, he felt peace.

Becoming more and more treacherous, the storm wreaked havoc. The passengers slowly became aware of the force sucking the ship deeper and deeper into the ice-cold waters. The wind, howling like a pack of wolves, circled them. Realisation dawned on them all. There was no panic, no screaming, just an eerie silence as mothers held their children and loved ones embraced. The lights inside of the ship began to flicker on and off and soon the passengers were in complete darkness.


Coldness flooded through the corridors, the water rampaging with such intent that nothing in its way survived. Swaying violently from side to side, waves crashing down, the ocean welcomed its victims with no remorse. Many people ran to their rooms for safety whilst others huddled as one, trying to keep warm. There was no escape. Lifeless, the ship took her last breath as the ocean tightened its grasp around her and she fell to her resting place in the dark hallows deep below.


The Captain stood firm at his wheel until the end, his job was done. He had delivered his passengers to their new destination. It was time to sleep…

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